I'm baaaaaack

So I've been tossing around the idea of changing up my blog because I change it every time a new part of the journey has begun, but as you can see from my 4-5 month silence, I'm lucky if I have the time to even post a blog. So same ol' blog it is..for now...

Quick recap:

May-Left Jordan

May-Sept- Traveled an incessant amount(8 states, countless cities), saw amazing people, got rejuvenated and exhausted all at the same time, wondered WHY I life this life, celebrated living this life, freaked out, got excited, said countless good-byes, cried many tears, and boarded my final airplane.

Sept-Oct- landed back in Jordan. Registered for language class the next day. Was sitting in class 3 days later. 3-hr class 5 times a week. Reunited with my life in Jordan, friends, language, neighborhood. Lamented the lack of water and freedom of clothing choices. Got sick. Lost my voice. Called someone to come fix something in my house at least every week. Fell in love with my life. Arabic is my nemesis-most days we are not friends.

And this is where I end. Arabic.

It's my life right now and I'm so thankful for this time. I'm trying to soak it up as much as I can, because who knows another time when I solely get to JUST focus on this language. Granted, I'm running around trying to fit in visits with friends, emailing people trying to get things ready for the summer, and helping out with center stuff when need be, but for the most part my job is Arabic.

I sit with my teacher, 5 days a week, 3 hours a day and listen to her talk. She tells me stories, I tell her some. I love it. I love her.

Last week I walked out of class so frustrated and realized: I'm not frustrated with the class or the language, I'm frustrated with myself. I realized I was not giving grace to myself-letting myself make mistakes, to be OK with not knowing. I know. Simple lesson. You'd THINK I'd know this by now...clearly not really. So after some good hearty self-talks and lots of prayer, I walked in there the next day determined to relax and have fun.

And so I have.

I'm celebrating the small victories. The little accomplishments. Arabic is a level 4 language-the top and hardest level. Some say its takes 6 years to be "fluent" Last year at this time I could hardly say hello and was only a month into studying-and not nearly as much as I am now. So today as I'm buying my essential diet pepsi and phone credit-the guy taking my money strikes up a convo-and tells me my arabic is good. Thank you young man-you actually seem nice-not the usual creeper-and so I'll take the compliment, own it, and say thank you. Because I'm trying hard, and I know I'm getting better.

God reminds me this everyday: What I know now is a gift from him, and it's because of Him that I can do what I can. So I will continue to learn, if only by his constant grace and provision.

Today, my teacher told me about a problem she's having. As all problems go in this culture-it usually revolves around marriage, family, or the pressures of society. This problem did not disappoint and included all 3. She has some big decisions to make and well she doesn't feel good about it all. She's scared about some of it, and well she wanted to know what I thought she should do. I LIVE for these moments! I love problem sharing/solving-I love imparting wisdom(it's not mine after all). But here I was, sitting, struggling, trying to get my heart thoughts into Arabic so she could understand.

THIS is why I want to know this language. I long to go deep with these women, and I know He hears and knows this, and so I will study and wait patiently-taking what little moments He puts before me-like today.