Torture

So there are many forms of torture, but the one I find the worst is when you drink caffiene everyday for most of your adult years and then one day decide not drink any for an entire day. I'm a one cup in the morning kind of girl who rarely drinks anything caffinated the rest of the day. On weekends I'll probably have more, but my body does not know what it is to wake up in the morning and go to work without it. I can't imagine not drinking it...yes..over the years its become a necessary thing to have in order to feel alive, but I just love the taste, the comfort of it, and the socialness of it. anyways....
My roommate and I decided to do The Master Cleanse. For those of you who have not heard of it..consider yourself lucky, my roommate sucked me into it. The whole aspect is to rid your body of toxins by drinking a lemon juice/maple syrup/cayenne pepper concoction over a period of 10 days. And that's it....that's all you can eat, drink. and look at for an entirety of 10 days. So I started this thing yesterday. I drank the required laxative tea the night before, and I was ready! Then Saturday morning came. I woke up at 12:30 with a splitting headache and it didn't go away all day. While doing this clease you are supposed to drink a quart of sea salt water to flush your system as soon as you wake up. Before you drink anything an entire nalgene size amount of salt water goes into your system. It took me an hour to drink.
After I had forced the water down, I then got to drink something of substance. The required drink wasn't too bad at first. The maple syrup(the natural organic kind-not the stuff you put on pancakes)..gives you the necessary calories and sugar to not waste away throughout the period of 10 days.
I did well all day. Went to Yaks coffeeshop with a friend and even Burrito Bandito and didn't eat or drink a thing..didn't even feel tempted. But what was seriously torture was the fact that my head felt like it was being ripped open and drilled into. It was awful. Not as bad as some I've heard about, but yes..my caffeine headache was awful!! But for the record I was willing to go the distance at this point. I figured I had gone off caffiene for a whole day, I can't turn back now. The splitting headache was not enough to make me want to stop.
Then came nightfall. By 8pm I had had enough of this lemon drink and so switched to water. I felt fine..a little weak and tired due to lack of caffiene, but ok. Then came 11pm. I could feel my body starting to shut down. It needed sugar, it needed calories. I had only had 700 calories all day and I normally consume at least twice that!. I drank my laxative tea hoping that would help. I just couldn't fathom drinking more of that drink. I was starving!! My friend Andrea who is staying at my place for the time being said that I needed to be drinking more. So I went to the kitchen and made myself another drink.
At this point I'm trying to carry on a normal conversation, but my body is going into shut down mode, I'm nauseous, and am trying to suck down some more lemon juice and maple syrup. I'm curled up on the ground feeling very much like I'm going to puke. I told Andrea, wouldn't it be funny if my roommate came home while I"m puking-then I would at least have legal right to quit this God forsaken cleanse. Now I'm pretty good at holding my puke...I haven't thrown up in years...but now I'm running to the bathroom. Yes..then..sorry for the details..but it all comes out! And mind you..while I'm throwing up..I hear the garage door and hear my roommate come in the door. Andrea is laughing hysterically and I am hugging the toilet saying over and over how this is not OK!
So...after a torterous day of saltwater flushes, maple syrup, lemon juice, and a miserable caffeine headache, I decided that my body was just not made for such things. Perhaps a stronger person would have stuck it out as I 'm sure my body was going through withdrawals from many things...but still....I was not about to puke 10 days straight just to flush my system of toxins. I'll try another way......
So peace out Master Cleanse....we just weren't meant to be friends.