Freedom

Freedom. I love this word so much I have plans to tattoo it on me one of these days. It's gonna be amazing. Freedom is amazing. Four weeks I've been back in Redding and everyday the Lord blows me away with how far he's brought me just in the last 3 months. How much FREEDOM he's given me. How HEALTHY my life is right now. And how much more he's about to give me! It's certainly a season of JOY right now.

I picked this book up last week and was floored with just the title. The Inner Voice of Love: A Journey Through Anguish to Freedom by Henri J. M. Nouwen. Great professors and mentors have pushed this author on me, but I had no idea this man pretty much went through some of the exact lessons and heartaches I've gone through. As I read the introduction to this book I kept saying out loud, "Where was this book a year ago?!" At every chapter, I'd find myself laughing at the irony, exclaiming at the similarity, finding friends and reading it aloud to them, and saying "this was my life!"..."this is me!". There are too many good quotes to even begin to write them.

I'm just glad that Nouwen decided to publish his secret journal of one of his most difficult times, that way I don't have to.:)

But the Lord HAS brought me from anguish to freedom, and its AMAZING to finally get to the other side and I'm not even all the way there yet. When we are wandering in the middle of the desert, it's sometimes hard to believe that the Lord is still guiding us, that he still has a purpose in it. The pain and anguish of the wilderness times are sometimes so hard to get through. But the Lord sends people to help us, the Lord gives us strength to continue walking, and when we reach the outskirts of the desert we can hardly believe we've gotten there. It's only by the grace of God, and so all we can do is be utterly thankful. And that's what I've been each and every day. Thankful. I'm blown away with the goodness of God and his amazing faithfulness.